In Summer School....Again

Well the 2nd "quarter" of Summer school has started and I'm back in the classroom. Bleh. Even though I need these credits, I really wish I didn't have to do this. But at the same time, I'd rather endure three weeks than spend a whole semester practically doing nothing. Either way, school is beginning to suck. And the school year hasn't even officially started yet.

Senioritis is already having minor outbreaks across Utah County.

Anyways, I got into a fight with my parents last night because they wouldn't let me go to the pool with my boyfriend and some other friends. She was mad that I went bike riding with Jon around the neighborhood and didn't tell her, even though some of my other YOUNGER siblings leave the house whenever they feel like it and rarely are punished for it. The amount of tension over this disagreement was insane. I was and still am angry. And it's not even about the pool or the fact I didn't get to spend more time with my dear boy, though I really wanted too. It's the fact that I feel like I am under house arrest. I only leave the house for school, lessons, or family activities. I can't do anything without parental jurisdiction. My mom says my lessons and extracurricular are me getting out the house. While it is a nice break, it's not always fun. It can be really stressful and it isn't quite the same as just hanging out. In fact, it hardly counts as socializing because I don't say hardly a word. During lessons, you are suppose to be listening to instructors, not gabbing about.

Though I really do appreciate my lessons, I want some just fun time. Just fun time. Anti-family fun time. I want to lounge about and goof off and gossip a little bit and have a night on the town. It's my last summer vacation. After I graduate, summer is no longer a break. It's just a season. And I want this summer to be the best.

Instead, I am usually stuck at my house with no car, no money, and no friends. If I do leave the house, unless it's for summer school, my mother is my accompainment. No offense Mom but I've been playing with you since the ripe age of 1 week and I kind of want to go play with other people now besides you. And when I try explaining to her how I feel, she goes on some tangent about how I'm acting like an immature, irresponsibly 17 year old who will end up dropping out of college because I just went and had fun instead of studying. And I have to disagree. Right now practically all I do is study. I go to summer school. I attend our yoga class. I go to my ballroom and ballet lessons. I practice my dance and do my stretching almost everyday. I do my chores. I get anything I need to get done, done. NOW WHERE THE HECK IN THIS EQUATION AM I ACTING LIKE AN IRRESPONSIBLE TEENAGER?

I can't wait to move out. Not because I want to go party hardy every night in college. I want my freedom. If I am done with my responsibilities, I want to be free to use my time how I wish. I want to go to the pool when I want too. I want to go hang out with my friends if I wish. I want to socialize with whom I want to socialize. If it's time to study, I will go study. If I have time to play then darn it I want to get out of the house and play.

Inspiration can come for sheer boredom. Who knew?

Hey so since I have to finish credits by taking summer school and summer school is wicked boring, I've had a lot of time on my hands sitting at my desk. As a result, I've started writing lyrics for around 5 new songs. Yes I'm really bored. And honestly have nothing better to do then come up with rhymes and count out syllables and all that jazz. So I will be posting a lot of lyrics and whatnot soon.

Oh I even wrote a poem the second day of class------

ODE TO SUMMER SCHOOL

This is a poem about being bored

Which I assure you, I am

She just keeps talking and smiling and grinning

And in fact, she's driving me mad

The classroom is quickly and surely becoming

My own personal hell

There's nothing to save me, nothing at all

No, not even a bell

And the busy work is driving me crazy

As it cramps up my fingers

There's no reason, not a single purpose

Except maybe to make me hate this teacher

If I have to open that book one more time

I swear I might rip it half

Maybe this makes me cheeky or maybe a brat

Either way, I know I'm being a smart ***

But if you had to sit in this room

For fours every morning for fifteen days

With these uncomfortable desks and the way this woman teaches

You too would also go insane

I love how eloquently I described my school setting.

Anyways really though it's not that bad and the teacher is nice. But I am telling you the first few days stunk.

PREVIEW OF A SONG I'M GOING TO POST:

I've heard you say it a thousand times

I think I've heard it almost every night

I love you

But I don't think you mean it when times get tough

When we fight, when the going gets rough

Do you know what I see?

You can't imagine the pain you put me through

And I use to say I'd do it again for you

But would you want me to?

Would you want me to?

A Review on North and South and Criticism of Reactions to the Depiction of the Victorian Era in Modern Media

BBC's adaption of the Victorian novel North and South, though long, is an excellent film. Though all the actors in the piece primarily specialize in television, I'd have to say the acting was top notch. Every performer played their parts well, realistically incorporating specific traits into their characters while maintaining the minimalistic movement required for film acting. Daniela Denby-Ash, though mostly an unknown, played the leading lady beautifully, both portraying the honesty and kindness of the character Margaret Hales as well as the strength. I particularly admire her skill because most actresses tend to make ajenue characters seem rather pathetic and weak. Denby-Ash shows both power and humbleness in a subtle human way. creating a character that can be easily connected to. Richard Armitage as the formidable Mr. John Thorton aslo did an amazing job. The part of Mr. Thorton could easily be a confusing character with his almost bipolar personality swinging from rage and coldness to the upmost sweetness. However, Armitage performed his part with finesse and allowed for the audience to understand his reactions, really delving into the character's physchology.

The relationships between the characters was also very natural. It was exceptionally easy to believe the connections of each character to another, particularly Margret Hale to her family. The role of youth to parent was very real, the affection between Margaret to her parents seeming natural. I could not help but compare it to a movie I watched just the other day exploring the relationship between a teenage son to his parents. During that particular movie then relationship felt forced and fake. In North and South however, the family seemed perfectly comfortable with each other just like a real family.

The set was also exceptionally good and realistic. I especially praise the multiple sets of the industrial city of Milton. I congragulate the props masters. The set of Milton captured the smoky, grim, and somewhat obscene atmosphere of the slums, working conditions, and overall streets in industrialized towns during this time period. Cotton bits where flying around, black smoke coming from chimmneys, soot on the walls, just subtle signs here and there. I swear in the background of one scene, there was a cart outside of a butcher's full of pig heads, which is quite accurate to the enviroment at the time. Simaltaneously, nothing shouted oh look we're trying to create a phony 1800's city.

I do, however, have two criticisms. The first being Margaret Hale's wardrobe. I understand Ms. Hale is a middle class citizen. But I'm sure she can have more than three outfits. And for goodness sake, she doesn't need to wear the same hat in every scene. By the second episode, I had already seen the brown hat a million of times and wanted to rip it off her head. Maybe it's something taken from the book-I don't know. But I will tell you this; one film that hat got really annoying, really fast. My second criticism would be the ending. Not that I have a problem with the plot's ending-oh no quite the opposite. I do however have a slight problem with editors and screenwriters. The ending seemed to come to quickly with little attempt to pace the story. I didn't seem right. As if, huge chunks of information and resolutions had been skipped over. It felt force. For instance, we don't even know exactly why Mr. Thorton is in the finacial situation he's in or how Henry came back into the picture. It just sort of happened. To me personally, it felt like "Oh my gosh we only have a half hour to fit the rest of the story into. So let's just shove bits and pieces here so we can get to the end."

Now I have a few things to say to viewers. One, and this is mostly directed to my teacher's AP English students (but anyone else who thinks like them go ahead and read), this movie is NOT a chick flick. I repeat North and South is NOT a chick flick. It is a period film. It might also be classified as a romance but for the most part is a Period Film. In fact, I find the romantic aspect of the movie is mostly a subplot. The main focus for the duration of the film is the social and economic turmoil as Northern England industrializes. It is more of a criticism of social conflict, then a romance. We see the factory workers strike, the effects the factories have on the employees, the slums of the city, the financial situation of the factory owners, the conforming of the Church of England. The main point of the story is not about a girl who lives happily ever. after. It is about a young woman who is thrown out of her element and opens her eyes to the problems around her. In a way, it's a buldingsroman, or a coming of age story. Just because two people fall in love and kiss at the end does not make it a chick flick or even romance. People fall in love and kiss and do other things during action films but you wouldn't call those chick flicks. For crying out loud, there's even a little romantic plot during Napolean Dynamite. Just because there is not explosions or stupid yet comical high school boys does not qualify it a chick flick. AGAIN IT IS A PERIOD FILM. (And netflix agrees with me)

Secondly, the film/book have been criticized of mimicking Pride and Prejudice. I will try to make this short but explanatory. North and South was written by Elizabeth Gaskell. During the 19th century Gaskell was actually a more popular writer than Jane Austen-quite the opposite of today. Gaskell was however more well-known and read. It is unlikely Gaskell stole Austen's idea. Another point would be that the relationship between Margaret and Thorton is a popular, almost generic concept. This is not because it is cliche. It is because it is real. It happens all the time. People often get bad impressions of one another but find that maybe they aren't so different after all. I'm sure almost everyone can name at least one person they were not so fond of at first but grew to like as a friend, love interest, whatever. I myself could probably make a long list-including my current boyfriend.

In general, I would now like address reactions toward the Victorian era in the media and literature by the masses today. I find it very distasteful how it is often found by people in the modern world as sissy or associated with chick flicks. Those who believe so are obviously uneducated in Victorian culture and displaying signs of narrow-mindness. One reason I think people call it so is because it deals primarily with marriage. My first point would be is since when in the history of the world marriage girly? For pete's sake, if you haven't noticed marriage is a common practice and is a union between (oh my goodness prepare yourselves for this one) woman AND man. There is nothing feminine about it. It's unisexual. It takes commitment and work from both partners and I think many people would agree that their marital relationship is not exactly the easiest thing in the world.

But you may ask, "Why the obsession with marriage and love?" I don't think you realize how important marriage was at the time. It was vital, especially for women. If a woman ever wanted a substantial income, their only choice was marriage and this is hardly a generalization either. They could not legally own property or inherit. The only money or living support they would recieve would be from their families as they grew up or from their husbands when they became adults. In that world, a young lady could not survive without a good marriage. And the women did anything to get married. I'll tell you it wasn't just primping up for balls and parties. Oh no. Here's something they leave out of the movies. Did you know many women during the 18th and 19th centuries had surgeries done to remove their bottom ribs so they could fit into their corsets? Later in life this caused health and back problems. Want to know why anyone would subject themselves to that pain? Because most men wouldn't marry a girl if he couldn't fit their hands around their waists so that their finger tips were touching. Especially the higher class-the men women wanted to marry the most to provide them security. I tell you, the society back then was brutual. Absolutely brutual. That is only a small sliver of the social atrocities.

The criteria for being an eligible young lady was almost impossible. It included refinement, education, multiple talents and interests, appearance, beauty, decorum, and basically a modelment of perfection. And with so many people aspiring to be the perfect wife, the competition was fierce.

I've heard Jane Austen criticized multiple times for being a feminist. Or a sexist. She is neither. Anyone who says so doesn't understand. Her characters are in common situations for the young women back then. She is showing how hard it was for women to find a good marriage. One with both love and financial security-something that rarely happened back then (it was usually one or the other). And it's not exactly an area she is unknowledgable in either seeing as she never got married herself. She died alone and unmarried with the person she would've liked to marry wedded to someone else. Becoming Jane is not a completely unaccuarate movie. There are signs that Austen had romantic feelings for Tom Lefroy. It cannot fully be determined exactly what happened since her sister burned documentation on the event to protect Austen's privacy, there is significant evidence. She lived a very sad life and as a result, wrote her characters to have the happy life in the end that she never had while first going through the difficult social and courtship formalities.

I will close now since this is so short but honestly this is only a fraction of what I could say on the subjects embodied within these paragraphs so if anyone would care to know more simply ask.

A recent song I wrote

OCEAN

By Bailey Loveless, May 2009

That ending was quite abrupt

You give and you take

And it's never enough

Hush now, and just stay with me for a while

Let us sing, let us love

Watch me look at you and smile

Why do you pull away?

Why do you go away?

CHORUS:

The ocean is flooding

We're crumbling over

The water keeps rising

And we're going under

The physcians say they do no wrong

I'm sure they'd sue me 

If they heard this song

If only we knew what they had read

When we cry, when you leave

When you stand still in my head?

Why do you pull away?

Why do you go away

When I'm falling over?

CHORUS:

The ocean is flooding

We're crumbling over

The water keeps rising

And we're going under

And I don't know how to instruct this heart

When you and them are taking it apart

I hear the waves crash down though the ocean is far

And the sea rises up to reach for the stars

CHORUS:

The ocean is flooding

We're crumbling over

The water keeps rising

And we're going under

Quotes by Myself

Ha how vain am I?

Some of the few well-thought out things that pop out of my mouth from time to time

"There are some people in this life we really wish we could hate and instead we are doomed to love them"

"I'm becoming increasingly fascinated with this odd manifestation of well-worded paragraphs (at least on my part) called blogging"

"Revolution and change never comes from those who aligned with the status quo of their society. Revolution comes from rebels."

"Poetry is a spontaneous description of the soul"

"It's not about if it makes him or her or them happy. It's about what's best for you."

"You say you want to get underneath. But aren't you afraid of what lies beneath?"

"A wrong is still a wrong no matter how big or small it is."

The Whole Blogging Scene

Unusually enough, I'm actually starting to like blogging. This is what? The eighth post or something that this month? I've tried blogs before but just never have gotten into them. I'd post once or twice and then lose interest. I've actually managed to maintain this one though. I'm still kind of uncomfortable posting what's going on in my life (which is always contradicting because I want to post something, but half the time my life is too intimate to post for the world to see). Just because I know if I do, I'll share my thoughts on the matter and I wouldn't want to offend anyone. Not that I'm mean; just blunt and strongly opinionated. Plus I almost always see both the good and bad in things. Like right now, if I were to post about my day, I'd say some nice things and I'd say probably some offensive things too. Maybe I'm just hard to please but I don't think I've ever had a perfect day-something is bound to irk me just a little bit. That doesn't mean I focus on one tiny negative thing but if I were to tell someone about my day, I'd probably mention it even though I'd be generally very pleased. I guess maybe some people would say I'm just too focused on the negative. I say it's more of a realist thing-let's face it, nothing can be perfect. Besides detailed, observant people like me are bound to notice flaws :). For instance, I've likely written too much on the subject and should someone happen to see this, they will be bored to tears.

In short, I just don't understand how people can be ok with posting EVERYTHING that goes on in their life-and trust me, I've looked at a lot of blogs and some people do post just about everything.

But I like the concept of blogging and I do like having a place to vent when I'm upset, which I frequently am because let's face it, I'm a psycho lol. Jk-well kinda. The psycho part is pretty true.

I actually get my thoughts better worded when I'm writing for the most part. I find it easier to coherently organize what I'm thinking and including everything I'd like to say; when I try to say it outloud, I usually get flustered and forget something. It is difficult for me to get my true emotions out verbally. Unless I'm singing but that's a little different-music was made to express emotions. Conversation however is primarily to bull your way through life because honestly in today's society who really says how they feel? If you ask someone how they are, they typically answer they're fine or ok. But how often are they really? Maybe I'm just weird but I know I'm not half the time when I tell someone that; we're all still expected to smile and say it anyways.

I'm a bit of a social reformer, if you can't tell-I'm a realist but I wish idealism was possible. In the words of my friend Harmony, "If we could all just take care of each other, the world would be taken care of." I believe that. I truly do. But the odds of it happening, especially with the mindset of the world we live, is almost impossible.

Another thing I wish was possible is if everyone could balance indiviualism with ethnics. Too often people think to be an individual, they should do whatever they want. They become Hedonists and put themselves first. They can drink, smoke, have sex, whatever-they're just being individuals therefore they can do whatever they want. Now I'm no conformist, but I don't feel a need to go party hardy to be an individual. That's just stupid-you'll be individually unhealthy and ugly in a few years from screwing your body over. Individuality is not being afraid to have your own personality, do your own hobbies (drinking and partying are NOT hobbies), and doing what ever it is you do to make the world a better place. Individualism is not being afraid to defend the obscure kid when society is condemning them. Individualism is using your brain by yourself and not having it controlled by the media. You know what, the partiers are the real conformists. They're like a bunch of robots controlled by the booze section in the grocery store.

Wow...this is long post. I'm done ranting now.

Well...

Well I have stuff to say but no one to say it to. I want to post something but wouldn't want what I'm thinking about right now avaliable on the world wide web. What a paradox this is. 

I hope my dance teacher doesn't think I'm an idiot-I promise I'm not. In fact, most of the time I prove to be a highly intellectual young lady. 

I'm just unsure of myself at the moment. 

I'm unsure of myself because I feel like everything I learned was wrong and I'm starting from square one. I'm unsure because my body is currently bloated up and my hormones are out of whack. I'm unsure because in the past week I've become something I rarely am: indecisive. I'm unsure because I question what my real motives are-am I really mad at that person for what they did or am I just dragging this out for other factors? I'm unsure because I'm constantly being thrown into situations with people I'm not comfortable with and as usual act stupid because I'm a retard who can't get out of their shell.

Now I don't want to make excuses. These just seem to be the causes of my wish washy self lately.  If anyone happens to have constructive criticism, I'm all ears. 

Just Random Bits of Junk And Fluff as I sweep out the corners of my brain

*I know I have something to say. I just haven't formulated the right sentences to say it yet. 

*Water is a marvelous thing. Zero calories, hydrates and clears skin. It even tastes good.

*Boys should ask girls on dates more. Specifically myself.

*"Boys want to feel like a king and girls want to be treated like a queen. It may seem as if there is little  difference but there is a significance" -Beyond the Spell for Teens

*This will be put in one of my songs someday so don't steal it! "I'm looking for inspiration and I think I found it in your eyes." You steal it, you die.

*Today was the best school day ever. WHY? Well I'll tell you why. Because there was hardly anything associated with school at all! Not even a classrooms

*VAST and Trading Yesterday ought to get awards for their musical and poetic geniusness. It's a pity more people haven't heard of them

*I always have an opinion. Whether I share it or not is an entirely different matter

*Pleasant suprises are what they're suppose to be to most people. PLEASANT! That's why its called that.

*There's no such thing as Nothing in this world. There just isn't. Don't even get me started on it. I have a whole speech prepared to support this thought. 

*I know I'm breaking normal tradition, but not everyone is special. Everyone is different but that does not necessarily make them special. Some people really are specially. Some people are made for greatness. Some people are more known than others. But those are all three entirely seperate things. Being one does not guarantee the benefits of the other two. And some people are just ordinary people who will never be of consequence to anyone outside of their own family. It's life. I'm sorry I'm breaking the idealistic opinion that everyone is special but I'm just telling you how reality is at the moment. If you ever find the perfect world let me know.

*For such an...aggressive...person I actually have a fear of small, sharp objects. I absolutely loathe them. In fact, I have an insane paranoia of needles. Any kind of needle include safetly pins. 

*As I was just saying to Jon, it's rude to interrupt people who are kissing, especially if they're in private. Unless you're making out in the school hallway. Then you deserve to be shoved for blocking traffic and for showing the rest of the student population something we could've gone our whole lives without seeing. Plus it's just disrespectful to your partner. That should be done in secluded areas. I dont want to see it. Nobody wants to see it. And I'm sure one of the two don't want everyone gawking at their slobber going everywhere.

*Stuffy noses suck. The worst is when you can breathe through one nostril while the other is still clogged. I'd rather have all or nothing.  

*Curse that A-. I am .4 from getting a 4.0 gpa this term. Ms. Rhodehouse I hope will be nice and give me something to just barely raise it up. 

*Bleaky? I like that word. Is that a real word? If not then its mine.

*I HATE MESSES! I KNOW I'M NOT THE MOST CLEAN, ORGANIZED PERSON IN THE WORLD BUT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD WE DON'T NEED TO BE PIGS!

*Straw Machine?

*Breaking Benjamin is good for breakdowns

*Christopher Columbus and the Revolutionary War are in the Book of Mormon. I'll even prove it to you

I swear he doesn't even see me

Heaven

To see your face last before I close my eyes to sleep

And to know you are beside me when I wake from lacking dreams

-Bailey

17?

It's supposedly my birthday on Sunday. Weird. I doesn't feel like I'm getting any older but my digits are going up. I still feel 15 years old. In fact, on a few bubble sheets this week I accidentally entered my grade as 10th. It just doesn't feel like in a few days I'll be a year older. It's not even clicking in my brain that I will turn 17 on May 10th. I don't even want to celebrate or anything.

Well maybe a little but just because it makes me feel special and who doesn't want presents.

But seriously, I don't even know what I want or what I want to do. Just make me something yummy, give me something cute and meaningful, and I'm good. Anything I can think of that I want is too expensive and something I'd actually like to pick out like a laptop. But I don't want someone picking out a laptop for me. That's something I would like to do. I guess I wouldn't mind some new clothes. I'm a small in shirt sizes in case anyone cares. Or gift cards work too.

Or I'd even love it if people actually remember my birthday.


MOOD: nervous, tired
SONG: Pacific Wind composed by Ryan Farish

Anger

Isn't it a little messed up how it's easier to get mad at the people you truly love and trust? You'd think since you hold them in such high regard, it would be harder to express how upset you are with them then the people you don't even care about.

Eve is My Hero

She truly is. Being the first woman on the earth would be one of the most difficult situations. It was also be very rewarding. But no doubt difficult. Imagine experiencing life without any direction.
I know as a woman that even though I don't always heed the counsel of others, I would probably go mad without my female friends. But it's just Eve and Adam. No offense to the males but girls and boys just don't think the same all the time. That would be so difficult having nobody to him to talk to. Their communication must've have been wonderful because there was no one else around. So when one of them was screwing up, they didn't have friends to go vent to. They would've only had each other. So I guess maybe it would be hard at first but probably a good thing in the long run.

Or can you imagine giving birth to Cain? Oh my goodness. The first person to ever give birth. No doctors. No medication. It couldn't have been to comfortable either. And all you have is your poor husband who has no clue what to do because he's already emotional and it's not like Adam has ever seen a childbirth before either. Poor guy. Eve must have been very brave. Much braver than anyone I know.

Just the pain of going to perfect paradise to being out in a world of hurt is enough to drive anyone mad. Let alone having to experience all that life entails without any comfort.

*Sigh Cry Dance*

I doubt anyone reads this. And if by chance some does, you're in luck. You get to listen to my mental problems for a paragraph or two. Whopee. Lucky you.

I'm having some problems. Mental issues. I won't go into detail. But I've done nothing wrong. Yet still, something is still out of place. I feel lost. I've been struggling with depression for almost six months now. Not like I need to be in an institution or anything. But bad enough I am affected on an almost daily basis in some form.
I don't like my body or myself. I'm very unhappy with many aspects of my life. I just don't understand what's happened to me or what caused this change. I can't help but remember the end of last year, when I was so happy and confident in my self. What happened? I used to understand things. But now I'm completely discouraged. In dance for instance, it seems no matter how hard I practice (which I do quite a bit-almost everyday), I'm not progressing. I'm always second best. I don't get anywhere. Which sucks because I love dance. I want to dance. But more importantly, I strive to dance well and not look ridiculous. I want to dance on the BYU-Ballroom team someday. But I don't think I will ever be that good. And it's not just dance I'm having a hard time with. But my writing and my singing and most of the things I thought I was good at.

I feel like a chicken with my head cut off. I'm running everywhere. But getting nowhere because I've lost me head and I'm dying.

And I'm writing this because I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to. And if somebody happens to read this, please don't tell me to pray because I do already thank you.

I don't feel as if I can talk to my parents about it. I don't want to burden my boyfriend or friends with my negativity. But at the same time, I can't keep holding all these emotions in. They're just building up and up and soon I'm going to snap.

Well that's enough poor me, poor Bailey for today. I promise my life isn't horrible. It's just strains my brain sometimes. :)

BUSY BUSY BUSY

That's life right now. Busy. Busy. Busy. Like a Bee. AND EXPENSIVE! Holy crap you pay a leg to clothe your own back these days. Who knows how long it'll take to pay off my prom dress along with my AP exams...There goes my college education, social security, and life savings.

Life really is like a rollercoaster

Totally cliche I know. I mean who hasn't heard that analogy (if you're really sick of it I guess we could say it's like a bungee cord). But it's so very true. It escalates and escalates very slowly like you feel you're never going to come down. And then...we shoot down so very fast, screaming the whole way to the bottom. Only the strong ones, don't scream. But here's the best part. Even once the rollercoaster has stopped its death-defying descent, it's still going to climb back to the top. And some people are lucky. Sometimes, someone puts the break on near the top for a little while. But those breaks aren't going to be on for forever. Eventually everyone is going to take the plunge. I hope everyone's descent is fast and everyone's climb up is slow and prolonged. Because guess what? Life isn't just ups and downs. Rollercoasters were made for entertainment purposes you know. So either up or down, everyone should enjoy the ride.

MOOD: Pensive, optimistic
SONG: In the Dark by Christian Burns and DJ Tiesto

The Best and Worst Make-out Songs

Inspired by one of my favorite authors Libba Bray!

WORST:

Play that Funky Music by Wild Cherries
(Love the song, but it doesn't exactly arouse me in anyway)

The Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance
(A song about depression, death and doomed love. Pucker up!)

I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry
(that's just a tad awkward...unless you're lesbian of course)

Any Disturbed Songs
(Sorry. Just too angry.)

Angels by Within Temptation
(You broke my heart...decieved me right for the start. It was all just a lie. LIAR!!!)

I'm So Sick by Flyleaf
(I'd be too focused on the awful vocals to do anything let alone kiss)

Skin Deep by Trapt
(Yeah you superficial slut)

The Devil Wears Prada, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, or just any screamo songs really
(Nothing gets me in the mood more than somebody screaming at me. Oh baby)


Who Let The Dogs Out by Baha Men
(WHO? WHO WHO WHO?)

You Oughta Know by Alanis Morrissette
("Do you think of me when you [do] her"...How romantic.)

California Girls by Beach Boys
(Way to make somebody who's not from cali feel like crap)

Everybody's Fool by Evanessence

La Ingrata by Cafe Tacuba
(MOOD KILLER)

The Funny Farm by Dr. Demento
(MAJOR MOOD KILLER!!!!)

Cowboy by Kid Rock
(Country and rap mixed together? Excuse me for a second honey while I go throw up)

Funeral March by Mozart
(enough said)

Stupid Girl by Cold
(gee I feel loved)

Revolution 9
(You'd have to be pretty twisted to makeout to that one)

I'll Be You're Baby Tonight by Robert Palmer
(Sorry Robert but this song is not romantic. Or even cute for that matter)

Cell Block Tango from Chicago
(Nothing like killing your other half)

This Is the End for You My Friend by Anti-Flag
(Ah happiness)

Believe by Breaking Benjamin
(Oh yeah a song about being raped....Lets kiss)

Face Down by Redjumpsuit Apparatus
(Nothing like being knocked around while sucking face)

I Wanna Love You by Akon
(Nothing screams romance like I wanna **** you)

Thanks for the Memories by Fallout Boy
(If you know what this is talking about then you'll understand)

Didley Wack Wack Mormon Daddy by Everclean\
(a total turn on)

I'm A Thunderdrome Baby by DHT
(Possibly the most annoying song ever)

And in short anything by Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, Christmas music (ew), Abba, Wierd Al, Metallica, and Papa Roach should definitely be avoided.

BEST:

Flames by VAST
(Possibly one of the most beautiful love songs I have ever heard)

So She Dances by Josh Groban
(Definitely one of the sweetest songs out there)

Breathe Into Me by RED
(So ok it is a rock song but just the dramatic style of the song could make one great kiss if used correctly)

Stripped by Shiny Toy Guns
(A lovely depeche mode cover with great duet and a bit of a sensual beat)

Addicted by Enrique Iglesias
(Such a great song. My favorite by Enrique as a matter of fact)

Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung
(A beautiful and hypnotic love song)

Whatever You Like by T.I.
(IF YOU AREN'T MARRIED BE GOOD AND LISTEN TO THE CLEAN VERSION but seriously this song pratically screams Baby I want you.)

Come On, Get Higher by Matt Nathanson
(A particular line in that song comes to mind lol)

Raindrops by Armor for Sleep
(A wonderful analogy for love)

On Fire by Switchfoot

Make Love In this Club by Usher
(Don't make love. Just make out)

Untouched by Veronicas

Out of My League by Stephen Speaks
(AWWWWWWWWWWW)

City of Blinding Lights by U2
(Fast but not too fast)

Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin
(Again more upbeat but not overly)

ANY OF THE LOVE SONGS BY TRADING YESTERDAY
(Such as Love Song Requiem and She is the Sunlight)

Dance Inside by All-American Rejects

And that's all I can think of for now but I'm sure I'll come up with more.




MOOD: amused and trying to keep myself preoccupied so I dont start pining
SONG: One Last Breath by Creed

The Purpose of This Blog

Yes there is a purpose.


Feathers of Ink is a blog that will both contain parts of my writing portfolio such as poems, short stories, maybe even essays, or experts from any bigger things I might work on but also serve as a mini-journal with both records of events in my life and probably lots of tangents.
The reason I created this blog was to first, have a convienant, fast way of sharing my work and happenings in my life with other people either near or far. Two, because it sounded fun. And three, to help motivate me to start writing again. I use to write a ton. But now it seems I hardly write anything at all. Which is sad because I have ideas all the time and I think I'm a decent writer and someday I hope to actually get some profit from it.

I have another blog as well. Only instead of writing, it will have all of my visual creations on it such as my photographs, photoshop editing/manipulations, and music videos. The link to that is:
http://drowned-ophelia.blogspot.com/

Anyways, Happy Blogging!

-Swan Queen

The 8th

A free verse poem I jotted down the other day. SO naturally no rhyme scheme or anything tecnicial writing. It hasn't been edited or anything so don't expect anything too great.

It was like touching grass for the first time
When I glanced into your eyes that night.
The beauty and the power oberseved that day
Afeared me to seach the corners of my lost soul
And unlock
What was festering in them
As I discovered
A marvel in plain sight.
Something always right before my eyes.
A conumdrum presented by this realistic madness
Brimming my mind with contradictions.
Joy. Hatred. Fury. Concern.
Fingers that danced with me so many times,
With hands met swiftly likes a baby's first breath.
Gasping as I shed my old, bruised skin,
I panicked.
I faltered. Confusingly,
swept away by a world always possible to access
But had never before witnessed.
To selfish. Never willing to consider, to touch.
A whirlwind around me with only one guide.
Reluctant to by led as the dancers glided across the floor.
Frightened by a vibrant realm.
Hesitant irises to refract light.
An angel too comfortable in dark alleys,
Like a vampire stepping out in to day.
A savior of the fallen standing in the sun.
Despite the snowflakes and sallow skin,
Heat rained out and the sun smiled
Down on a creature who lived in the dirt.
And for the first time in many months,
I saw the sky again.
A sky of green.

-The Swan Queen

MOOD:thoughtful
SONG: She is the Sunlight by Trading Yesterday